How often do you allow yourself to grieve?

Since starting my journey healing with homeopathy, not only have I been experiencing physical changes and improvements, but I have been almost overwhelmed by the amount of emotional turmoil I have been experiencing.

Those of you who know me well know that I do not cry easily or often - most of you will never have witnessed such an event! Even when I have said to others that I am welling up, they say, "Really???" as they cannot even see it, so deeply buried have I kept my emotions over the years.

But over the past few months I have CRIED; gut-wrenching and throat-burning sobs, silent wails, breaking down so hard my neighbour and friend thought something terrible had happened in that moment, tears streaming down my face during talking therapy and talking to my homeopathist. So what are the tears about?

Grief isn't just about death - it is about loss of dreams, hopes, aspirations

The tears are about many things; hurtful things said to me or my daughter over the years that I thought I had brushed off, feelings of overwhelm as a single parent, and some older pain that I had kept buried along with feelings of shame. But mostly the tears at present are tears of grief; the full realisation and with that, acceptance, that some things in life will never be how I dreamt they would be. I worked so hard over the years to try to change things, to alter my outlook and my reactions so I didn't get hurt. But what I had failed to do was fully accept some things will never change, and with that acceptance comes loss. And with loss of any kind comes grief.

Grief hurts. It can be overwhelming. After the tears has come physical illness - not a surprise as emotions are stored in the body. And there are still more tears to come. But, with acceptance comes relief. Yes, it hurts, but there is a calm in knowing the truth and no longer fighting to try and change it.

Photo by Sven Read on Unsplash

With acceptance comes grieving

Allow yourself to grieve - not only when you lose a loved one, but when your dream job falls through, you lose a precious item, or a friend lets you down and there's a loss of trust. These are all painful losses in life and we need to grieve for them in order to move on.

How can we best allow our grief to unfold? Well, this is personal and unique to all. But here are some things to try out:

* journalling

* writing a letter to then burn or rip up to release feelings and say goodbye to that which you have lost

* find a mentor; a therapist, natural healer, friend who listens unconditionally

* allocate a set amount of time each day to grieve

* talk about it with people close to you who support you wholeheartedly - now is not the time for 'rational' advice - you need to let those emotions flow freely without judgment

* move your body - however feels good to you

* watch films/shows/listen to music that make you cry

* ask for help/cuddles/an ear

* drawing/painting/creating

* visit a Rage Room!! (sooo much fun)

* scream with your friends in your living room (again soooo much fun!)

* when you feel like smiling and laughing, fully indulge yourself

Mostly, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel. None of this British stiff upper lip nonsense! ;) Buried feelings will make you ill and you will lose yourself. Allowing them to flow will allow you to move forward and continue to be the fabulous person that you are.