Are you constantly striving to be 'healed'?

Why this is how I used to be, but recent years have taught me how unhealthy this is, and how it actually causes more stress and anxiety.

Whenever I read a headline about how someone has moved from ill-health to complete healing, or from despair to utter happiness, I feel a little sick. I have been asking myself why.

Initially I thought it was because I was envious of these people who are now fulfilled and living in bliss. But I now know it is because what they are selling is a lie.

What does it mean to heal?

It is impossible to completely heal all physical and emotional wounds and be in 'perfect' health. And being told that we can attain this is actually harmful and can lead to feelings of failure or weakness; that we are lesser than because we still face difficulties and health issues and struggle mentally at times. Striving for everlasting happiness can be destructive unless we understand what 'happiness' really means; within happiness there is pain, there is struggle, there is darkness. There is not and cannot be only light.

I have had therapy on and off for over 20 years, and early on I was determined to 'heal myself' entirely - to rid myself of my pain and wounds and be truly 'whole' and positive and happy. As the years have gone by, I have learned that my trauma and pain and sensitivities will always be with me and THAT IS OK. I had started to beat myself up for not 'overcoming' sensitivities, for still reacting emotionally to certain people and events when I should have gained control of these by now. I had set myself up to fail, and being influenced by those claiming we can control our emotions and responses all the time was making me more stressed and unwell the more I 'failed'.

Choose your mentors wisely

So beware those telling you you can become unequivocably 600% 'whole' for the rest of your life. If you have a hole within you due to past trauma, it may always be with you - the key is learning to be compassionate with yourself and to accept and love this is part of the wonderful human being you are today. Without this wound, this imperfection, you would simply not be you.

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